Reach Out

Imperfection

2012-02-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

"I'm not important to you. I'm sorry, I'm not good enough for you. I'm sorry I can't be perfect." -Nicholas.

Felt that way once and so I gave up. You said I was arrogant and the thought of me suffering you, then I guess I'm no where near perfect for you. You know how much I despise lies, and so why would I lie to anyone? Again, I'm no where near perfect because if there's such thing called 'love' then it would have perfected me as the apple of your eyes. But I guess no, you just picture yourself as the doormat and me stomping all my problems to you. If you constantly put yourself that way, then why don't you ever see yourself as a kid instead of a gentleman?
You think I didn't reply your text because I don't want you as my friend anymore? Well, that's just immature of you. I didn't reply because all you seem to bring up had the intention to hurt my feelings. Your words were rather insulting.

But it's okay, I'll take the blame from now on for whatever has happened. I'll accept all the insults your friends and you, yourself would throw at me. Even if I do happen to regret one day, I will face the music all by myself, and I wouldn't blame you for anything. Just for the record, it's not like I do not face any problems in my life anymore, it is just that I seem to accept everything as it is and not make a fuss out of it.

Stop pointing fingers and just accept things as it is. You're my friend and I don't want to lose you as one.

Partial

2012-01-27T14:05:00.000+08:00

I have no idea where to begin in describing how I've been feeling for the past few days. It felt like I've been hypnotized or even drugged until I couldn't get a grasp of reality. Honestly, I could not differentiate between reality and dream for the moment. My heart has been pounding fast and hard recently, wanting to be free. Eagerly wanting to be free from being told by the mind. Clearly I couldn't lie to myself anymore and now I've come to the extend where I fathom myself a lot. Fathom myself for being needy, clingy and inexpressive. Questions had my mind puzzled, whether this is greed or need? Whether it was out of sincerity or force?
But all these questions never did puzzled my heart. As if my heart knows what it needs and wants, as if there is a part of me which has been revived and rejoiced.

Everyone knows I'm completely happy and thankful for what I have now. Frankly, I am and I do wish it would stay this way forever but that is just silly. Silly for a little girl like me to be wishing for.

xxxx; Fatin

Riders

2012-01-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

I've been a scooter girl recently. Going around with my scooter following my dad with his big bike. It has been a good experience for me and it certainly entertained me to the max. Anyway, my college days were ultimately awesome despite the heavy schedule. But it's okay, I think I could cope up with the flow. Hmm, other than that, Chinese New Year is coming soon and my so called 'Kakak Ipar' didn't give me any lemons yet! So sadddd! I teased my brother about this and he was like 'Chinese new year is still far away la'. Hahaha! Ok, I have no idea and pretty much tired recently. I guess college has really drained my energy. (actually, I don't have much stamina. That's the truth. LOL!) That is all, will be posting more soon during holidays!

xxxx; Fatin!

KLCC

2012-01-08T19:57:00.000+08:00

Went to KLCC today and met Ace. Kak Lia said he's a handsome guy. Aww, I bet he'll boast around once he reads this post but whatever it is, thanks for the rusk biscuit! Hahahaha! It was sweet! So anyway, went to edu fair with bro, Kak Lia and Ace but of course, we went our seperate ways because I want to be with Ace alone! *grins* Eventually, Ace and I tend to stray away from the Edu fair because it was boring. Hence, we went to isetan grocery store and saw the rusk biscuit. Thus, there is when the biscuit comes into the scene! Huhu, he bought the biscuit and we eat it together. Sweet aite? Ok, that's all for today. Tired, sleepy and etc! Thanks Ace for today, never knew I get to see you today. P/S: Keep stalking me! xxxx; Fatin!

Stalked

2012-01-07T12:08:00.000+08:00

Hmm, so my blog has been stalked by a wonderful guy last night. Wow! Amazing. So let's just give a nickname to this guy who entered my life with his unpredictable swag, I'll name him Ace. I can't believe this, I actually feel extremely ashamed of myself for cursing too much in my blog to the extend that I feel like locking myself up in my room for centuries! Due to that, for my 2012 resolution, I vow to curse less in life and in blog. (Though I doubt that with all my heart). But oh well, I'll give it a shot. Anyway, just wanted to shout out loud that my 2012 started good. Ohhh yesssss, very good. *smirks*

You're predictable but unreadable, love. xxxx; Fatin

Obsession

2012-01-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

Please leave me alone. Please get your fucking ass out from my life. I said my decision was final and I'm not fooling around. Thanks for making me bloody pissed off tonight. If you have the tendency to interrupt my life, then I must remind you that I will report to my father and lodge a police report about you. I'm not joking over this matter. So please, leave me alone. I don't hate you, I just want to relive my life again and I don't give a fuck whether you regret or bloody upset about it. That's your bloody fault to deal with, Mister. Goodbye.

Nervous

2012-01-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

I'm terribly nervous. Seriously, my heart beats with an uneven pace recently. It's like, I'm about to perform on stage and leading the play. That is how nervous I am. Oh my, anyway, my mother just asked me a question this evening and I wish I could tell her the truth. With all honesty mom, I'd tell you everything if I had the chance. But it's okay, I'm about to tell my parents everything soon and I know they'd be surprised! Actually, I'm excited to tell them the good news but I think the good news could wait for a little while.. *smirks* xxxx; Fatin!

My Words, My BLOG.

2011-12-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

You always say, “sorry,” and “I promise it won’t happen again.” But you seem to always find new ways to disappoint me.

Well guess what? I'm done and through with it. Don't ring up my phone and don't even bother thinking what made me say "NO" to you. You're just one chicken to even sacrifice in a relationship and you want me to tell you about my feelings for you? Don't you dare think I didn't give my damn effort in 'us'. I replied with all the "I don't know" because I wanted your attention all this while. I wanted to see how you'd treat and tolerate me. But oh no, you fucking cunt, you just had to let it go rite? You didn't seem to regret for few days and didn't even bother to call me up within those days and say that you're sorry. To think of it, you even thought it was just a joke about you leaving me and thought I would take you back? Well, fuck you, the joke is on you now. So don't crawl up to me now because I moved on like there's no tomorrow and I can tell you, my heart is no longer yours because you don't deserve any of my love. If you think making me jealous is a way to lure me back to you, I guess you should grow up and be more matured for your age. That was one immature move from you. If you think of me ever stalking you, Oh please..you posted it in public because you never knew there's a reply button ever exist in twitter post. I hate how I have lost myself and had to recollect every pieces just to find a way back to be Me. I hate how I depended on you so much on my feelings but you wasted it by taking me for granted. So all I will say is, it's too late now. You forgotten how I've been there for you, and you lost yourself in your own dreams and greed. So here's my last words, By the time you realise your mistake, is the time you miss how I use to treat you; above everything and above all my hopes and dreams.

So if my decision ever puzzled you, read this post over and over again. Just so you know, I never shed a tear when you left because you were never worth it. Last of all, I am not your Doormat. Seriously, fuck you! xxxx; Fatin.

Talk You Down

2011-12-27T13:14:00.000+08:00

"Cops will chase, but they won't catch me, not before I get to speak my mind..because there's still time."

Update for today: My mom made kebabs this morning! Well, it was not as nice as before..I think she lost her touch but it's okay. She did her best for sure. Other than that, I have been listening to a band named 'The Script' recently and I think I fell in love all over again with the band. I guess I couldn't get over the singer's voice because it is very soothing. Beautiful in a way I could never describe. Oooookay, that made me sound like a super freak but whatever, because if The Script ever performs in Malaysia..I'm so GOING to the concert! Ok, I'm done blabbing! xxxx; Fatin :)

Closer

2011-12-27T00:10:00.001+08:00

Doubts upon my strength suddenly fades away. I guess I'm stronger now, Alhamdulillah! Now I'm moving on by myself, and trying to be more independant over my emotions. I'll try to be more positive nowadays! Anyway, I think living in Bangi for my holiday has been a bless. I'm calmer here more than I've ever been in Wangsa Maju and I even stress less. Not to mention, I even gained some weights and some flabs around my tummy (disturbing fact!). What a way to end my 2011 by being chubby! But I guess it's fine because it shows that I'm happy. That is all from me for tonight! xxxx, Fatin! :)

End

2011-12-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

I refuse to cry. I'm super bored and stuck in Bangi. I have no idea what to do. My December feels wasted and going down the drain slowly. That's the only conclusion that I could think of at the moment. *sigh*

Best-Day-Ever!

2011-08-11T20:19:00.001+08:00

Today is one of the best. I don't know what's up but I just feel this positive vibe going on around me. Dang, I feel good.

So yeah, there's a drama going on, a drama where I don't want to dwell myself in. Lawlz.

Other than that, my trial is just around the corner and I am somewhat excited. Haha! okay gay. Ciao peeps :)

Winsome Lies

2011-07-30T13:42:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought of all the lies that you have heard in your life?
Just when you thought, the person who would be honest with you suddenly lies to you. It is as if, the saddest chapter in our life.

The part where you think that you're done and over with, never really exist in the first place. This sucks even worse.

Lies, lies, lies. A pool of lies, a beautiful denial to claim it as a reality. Life goes on this way, where we think everyone is honest and sincere but the real fact is, not most of them are the way we think they are.

Content

2011-06-25T18:34:00.000+08:00

I feel.....sad. I don't want my last year of school to end. It feels weird, really.

______________________________________________________________

I had my last sports day in SV high. *sigh* Going to miss this school somehow. Another thing I'm quite upset about is, my parents showed up late during the marching yada stuff. Hmm, well, I didn't expect them to actually turn up early. Like normal, they're ALWAYS late for everything and miss every epic moment in my life. That's my parents. Whatever.

I still have my pals and for marching stuffs, I joined Kadet Bomba (fire fighter cadets). Daym, I must say I'm proud wearing the awesome fire fighter uniform this morning. *grins*
Oh well, that's the last...for sure.

Hm, there's nothing left to say I guess? :)
So that's it.

Random

2011-06-05T17:34:00.000+08:00

Smiling but we're close to tears.

________________________________________________________________

Ok, just got back from my holiday and it was not-a-superb-holiday but still thankful for having it. Now I am back on track, blogging like I have no life (I guess).
When I went for my holiday, I saw many couples hugging and holding hands with each other. Damn it, I was just hugging and holding as well, but it was with my sister! (forever-alone)
For a moment, I wish for a husband who would guide me and cherish me with his love. That would be more than enough. Lovely ain't it?

Oh yeah, I also saw a lot of porks and I was wondering :

"We call pig's meat as pork instead of pig beef and we call its skin as pig skin instead of pork's skin."

Stupid. Why pig gets two names? Dirty porky pig.
It was totally random and bimbo moment but I just couldn't care less.

The end.

Forgiveness

2011-05-20T23:41:00.000+08:00

I seek your forgiveness, dear readers.

Forgive me if I have ever hurt you by my posts and words whether I have the intention or not.
Please forgive me because I now realise, words are weapons which could hurt the heart even without the intention of doing so.

I feel so disgusted seeing myself most of the time. I know I am not perfect but I should avoid doing sins. I don't want to be a sinner and to be thrown into Jahannam. No, I don't want that. Dunya is just....a temporary place to live in. How I wish I have strong faith like Mariam, Aisyah r.a, Khadijah, Hajjar.
These great women compared to me, I'm nobody.

Please forgive me, I hate how the heart works sometimes. Nafsuu kills the soul and the faith.

Great

2011-05-15T16:07:00.000+08:00

I'm not...entirely a good person. I've decided to join the dark force and fight against the Rebellion. Gonna join the Sith Lord and become his apprentice!

TUUUUUUUUUUT......Starwars crap shit. Ha ha, I'm cuckoo now. I did not revise properly and not giving my best shot for this mid term because I'm going through an emotional breakdown and no matter how freaking lame I give as an excuse...I think I just couldn't find myself again.

I just wanna go through a movie-marathon or something x)
well, sucks to be 'me'! Cheers!

It Hurts

2011-05-09T18:57:00.001+08:00

It hurts to see you. It hurts knowing that you're not putting any effort in knowing me better. It hurts knowing that you talk behind my back like an immature child and what hurts the most, you never support me in most things I dream of doing because you never seem to listen and understand.

____________________________________________________________________
It's ironic how my English exam paper went on today contains a text that I usually write in my diary. Feeling suicidal and constant tears dropping; wishing my life would be better.

Ironic that is, that I'm still a teenager but the text in the exam paper has ended with the girl grew older and went on with her life.

That is how I want my life to be, but I want it to be better. I'll make sure every drop of tears I shed today will turn to the tears of happiness once I stand on my own. I want this world to be better and that's the reason why I want to be a doctor. I want others to be happy.

Reassuring myself that I'll be better, happier and I'll move away from a place called 'here'.

Learn

2011-05-03T20:16:00.000+08:00

You should learn, to listen and understand. Unlike what you're doing now, which only consist of lesson 'listen'. Don't wait until someone's death just to open your ears, mind and heart.

Dear music, how much you have destroyed my life. I hate you.

40 Mistakes

2011-04-23T17:57:00.000+08:00

40 Kesilapan Mendidik Anak
1. Pemilihan jodoh tanpa memperhitungkan mengenai zuriat
2. Perhubungan suami isteri tanpa memperhitungkan mengenai zuriat
3. Kurang berlemah lembut terhadap anak-anak
4. Memaki hamun sebagai cara menegur kesilapan anak-anak
5. Tidak berusaha mempelbagaikan makanan yang disajikan kepada anak-anak
6. Jarang bersama anak-anak sewaktu mereka sedang makan
7. Melahirkan suasana yang kurang seronok ketika makan
8. Membeza-bezakan kasih sayang terhadap anak-anak
9. Kurang melahirkan kasih sayang
10. Sering mengeluh di hadapan anak-anak
11. Tidak meraikan anak-anak ketika mereka pergi dan pulang dari sekolah
12. Tidak mengenalkan anak-anak dengan konsep keadilan
13. Tidak memberatkan pendidikan agama di kalangan anak-anak
14. Tidak terlibat dengan urusan pelajaran anak-anak
15. Tidak memprogramkan masa rehat dan riadah anak-anak
16. Tidak menggalakkan dan menyediakan suasana suka membaca
17. Mengizinkan anak-anak menjamah makanan dan minuman yang tidak halal
18. Tidak menunjukkan contoh tauladan yang baik di hadapan anak-anak
19. Jarang meluangkan masa untuk bergurau senda dengan anak-anak
20. Terdapat jurang komunikasi di antara ibubapa dengan anak-anak
21. Tidak menggunakan bahasa yang betul
22. Suka bertengkar di hadapan anak-anak
23. Sentiasa menunjukkan muka masam di hadapan anak-anak
24. Tidak membimbing anak-anak supaya mematuhi syariat
25. Memberi kebebasan yang berlebihan kepada anak-anak
26. Terlalu mengongkong kebebasan anak-anak
27. Tidak menunaikan janji yang dibuat terhadap anak-anak
28. Tidak menunjukkan minat kepada aktiviti anak-anak
29. Tidak memupuk semangat membaca di kalangan anak-anak
30. Tidak berminat melayan pertanyaan atau kemusykilan anak-anak
31. Tidak memberi perhatian terhadap buah fikiran anak-anak
32. Lambat memberi penghargaan kepada anak-anak
33. Kerap meleteri sesuatu kesilapan yang dilakukan anak-anak
34. Hukuman yang tidak setimpal dengan kesalahan yang dilakukan
35. Sering mengancam dan menakutkan anak-anak
36. Menghukum tanpa menyatakan kesalahan yang dilakukan
37. Tidak konsisten dalam menjatuhkan hukuman ke atas anak-anak
38. Memberi nasihat yang sama kepada anak-anak
39. Tidak tegas mendidik anak-anak
40. Tidak menggalakkan anak-anak hidup bekerjasama

Dipetik dari buku '40 kesilapan mendidik anak' oleh Dr. Hassan Ali, AKRAB 1996

Satisfaction

2011-04-17T12:48:00.000+08:00

Feeling angry, scolding others, insult and humiliate people just because you're feeling angry....All these actions satisfies your anger?

I'll be posting more soon. Assalamualaikum. :)

Okay, taking back my words

2011-04-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

Yeahhh, so I'm taking back my words about the girls yada shits. =.=

I think most girls in this era are...'so gatal'. So yeah, rasa macam aku tak perlu nak explain sangat dah. Speechless gila tahap nak mati. So buat la pape korang nak buat. Fornicate ke, have fun ke..suka hati lah. Kisah apa dah aku ni. Pergi pakai seksi, lepas tu kena rogol, salahkan lelaki. Kau yang cari pasal, nak show off badan sangat, kau tanggung la pape yang jadi. Kalau pakai burdah and jubah kemudian tetiba kena rogol, memahami juga la situasi. Sekarang baru aku sedar, bila nasihat kan seseorang untuk kembali ke jalan yang benar, selalu dapat balik kata - kata hikmat sesat : "Aku belum sedia" , "I still want to have fun", "Hidup masih panjang".

Okay, kalau hidup kau panjang sangat berjela macam nenek kebayan, 1 saat sebelum kau mati, baru nak ingat Tuhan? Itu pun kalau kau ingat. Aku ingat aku boleh faham kenapa kau serba begitu tapi tidak, aku pun ada banyak kurangnya sebab bukan penyabar. Tapi takpe, Allah Maha berkuasa dan Maha pemberi hidayah.

And yeah, tarik balik kata2. It's guys nature to be that way and it's women's duty to cover themselves. There's always preventions.

kisah,kisah,kisah,kisah sebenarnya sekarang. Moga Allah bukakan pintu hati kau sebelum terlewat. I've done my part.

Over It

2011-03-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I'm through with it if anyone claims that they want to change. Yeah, I'm cool about that but when your words does not have a full stop at the end for the "I want to change" sentence, it pisses me off somehow.

I have an acquaintance who once told me that she/he wants to change to a better person, to be a muslimah/muslim, to be close to Allah. However, at the end of her sentence, she claims that all these things could be put at a halt because she wants to have fun first and only then repent.

People, this is Bullshit. I hate bullshits. So please, do not talk to me about wanting to change but wanting to do sins and only after that you would repent. It's the same as wanting to jump off from a tall tower but wanting to be alive at the end of the jumping session.

I know it is hard to change but at least, put some BIG effort into it. People could guide you, and Allah will always guide you if you're open to Him and wanting His guidance.
Just please stop all these nonsense. If you're still stuck with your own made up rules about life, I suggest that you repent. If you find that life is difficult for you, pray to Allah (for the non-muslims, pray to God).

Life is temporary. Time is short. Death awaits us and no one knows when.

Moving On

2011-03-24T19:51:00.000+08:00

I could handle it, I guess.....

__________________________________________________________________

So yeah, my post for today is about my perception towards teen girls being madly in love with the boys. Honestly, for me..I think it's all crap and shits. Dear boys, thanks for making it look like it's a nice reality all this while for the girls.
Why? You make the girls think that they're LOVED by you. Yeah, the girls are easily influenced and that is their nature. However, you should have not take advantage of their weakness and use it against them.
How could you touch their bodies and make a fool out of them? If they lose their virginities, no one will look at the guy who popped their cherries and blame them but instead, others make bad impressions of the girls.

Yes, I used to be one of 'em who judged these girls but I know now that I am wrong. The real deal to blame here is the boys being so immature and irresponsible. I know that a lot of factors should be considered before actually pointing my finger in this case but after studying deeply about human nature, I know now that people should have not put bad impression on these girls.

To guys out there who reads this post, please don't mislead them. Ladies too, are creations of God and they were created to be lead by Men.
I beg you guys out there to atleast have respect for women and girls, and say NO to fornications.

Too Late

2011-03-17T17:32:00.000+08:00

Chances come and go. Anyway, nothing is too late I guess? It's not the end, yet.

Last night was epic! I went to a mamak stall near by with Kak lia via my scooter bike without any license nor helmet on. Okay, some may say that I was really seeking trouble but blame my Dad on this! Hahaha!

So yeah, went to the Mamak stall and drank teh tarik. Suddenly, a group of police men came over to have a drink and the police car was like....2 meters away from my scooter! I panicked like a maniac and phoned up my dad. I didn't want to be thrown into jail just because I didn't wear any bloody helmet and I had no license. Nooooooooo! After ringing up my dad, he just said, "Oh, just push your bike until you reach home."
That was a crazy idea but then my dad changed his sentences by saying, "Kidding. Just push your bike like few meters away from them and you can ride your bike again!"

This is the best part. After paying for our drinks, Kak Lia and I went to my bike and started pushing it awayyyyy from the police men's car. They were sitting outside of the Mamak stall and watched us pushing my bike with weird expression written on their faces. Yeah......suddenly they laughed out loud after figuring out that I didn't want to get caught by them. Then......I jumped onto my scooter and started it....well, I nearly left kak lia behind when the engine starts because it accelerates fast! Kak lia screamed out loud by saying "HEYYY! I'M NOT ON THE BIKE YET!"

Ok....funny story. Epic scene ever! Lots of Love, Fatin <3
My grammar sucks in this post because I'm like....all high up in cloud 9!

Ya' Allah!

2011-03-12T17:49:00.000+08:00

My intention of posting this up is not because of the Tsunami disaster.

Recently, I've been thinking about death, the life-after, the Prophet and most of the time, Allah.

Have you ever wonder, what your life would be in the end? I've always wondered and I've always wanted to be loving, caring, intelligent and a person with strong faith like Khadijah Khuwailid.

I wish to have a beautiful, pure soul.

NO!

2011-03-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

My favourite phone is officially dead and I'm currently using the old phone. Seems like it'll be until SPM before I ever get to lay my hands on a cool new phone. Ok, I get pretty obsessive over cool Sony Ericsson's phones but who is not obsessed over anything in their lives man? Get a life if you don't have one.

Ugh, I just feel like running around and play badminton. I'm not good at it but I want to train myself to be good at it. I really hate this 'mediocre' life-curse.

Anyway, how to train yourself to be sincere? I'm not really a sincere type of person. Scratch that, I just don't know how to be....all-so-goody. How can we smile and talk politely? How do we walk with grace and never stumble upon anything? How do we not make a fool out of our selves? How do we be nice to everyone?

I seriously can't train myself to be nice and I know I am such a bastard and a jerk. This is stupid.

Like Really?

2011-02-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

Atiqa rang me up in the evening when I was sitting in my garden wondering what a mess I am recently. She asked whether I have studied for my Chemistry test but honestly, I just couldn't care less for this test paper anymore. *sigh*

Later after that, I had a chat with Kak Lia and someone stated I'm 'rude'. Frankly speaking, I am not rude. How could you say I am rude for not wanting to utter any words and stay in silence? Do you feel the 'cold war'? Seriously, I am labelled as a rude girl for not talking? What the fook is that really?

Okay, this is useless like 'ay' after 'ok'. Doesn't make much differences if I talk or not, because if I talk, I'll be labelled as 'rude' for speaking out the truth and if I shut up, I'll be labelled as 'rude' as well.

Try mirroring yourself before you speak because the ones who says bad stuff about others is actually describing their own selves.

I think the mirror would actually shatter once you stand infront of one because you're so 'nice'.

Gravity of an Event

2011-02-27T14:23:00.000+08:00

I cried while telling him how lonely I felt whenever I am alone at home. He then told me, "You will never feel that way ever again once we are married."

Reaction?

2011-02-26T21:05:00.001+08:00

During dinner,

Dad : You missed out the hot victorian boys today, Fatin! They have buff, v-shaped bodies! They're tall as well!

Me : Oh...really....... (couldn't give a damn)

__________________________________________________________

I don't need those type of boys, Dad. I don't want to waste my time drooling over them. I am not stupid enough to let my heart get hurt, and not that much of an idiot to put my body on an e-bay price. Say No to social life. (Wtf am I crapping about)

Oh daym, I had a great day playing badminton with Kak Lia and early in the morning at school talking about my dreams with Atiqah and Fadzrain. Finally! The day has come! <3

Oh yes yes yes, I get HIGH playing badminton. I have no idea why. *bunny face*

Tolonglah!

2011-02-26T18:46:00.001+08:00

Tolonglah jangan salahkan seseorang berubah kepada keburukan atas alasan 'Cinta'.

Cinta pada Allah buatkan kita ingat akan segala keburukan yang telah kita lakukan.

Cinta pada Rasul buatkan kita ingin amalkan sunnah - sunnahnya.

Cinta pada ibu bapa kerana mereka yang telah menyara hidup kita.

Cinta pada guru kerana memberi ilmu mereka pada kita.

Cinta pada manusia kerana manusia ciptaan Allah.

_________________________________________________________

Adakah cinta buatkan seseorang itu buta? Adakah cinta pada Allah buatkan kita lupa akan diri kita?
Kalau seseorang itu jatuh cinta, mungkin itu jodohnya. Tetapi seseorang harus mengenal maksud cinta sebelum menyelami hidup 'berpasangan'.

Jadi, tanya - tanya la diri. Sesiapa yang berpasangan, couple - couple tu. Pasangan kamu ada ingatkan kamu untuk bersyukur? Ada suruh jangan tinggalkan solat? Ada kata jangan lakukan perkara yang tidak mendatangkan faedah?

Kalau tiada, maka itu bukan cinta. Kerana seseorang yang bercinta, dia akan cuba memperbaiki akhlak pasangannya dan bukan mengajaknya ke arah melakukan keburukan. Amal ma'ruf, nahi mungkar.

Bukan nak sakitkan hati kepada pihak yang terbaca pos ni, tapi ini pandangan saya dan pernah saya lalui.
Pada saya, pasangan harus saling ingat - mengingati dan saling menasihati untuk ke arah kebaikan dan bak kata orang mat salleh 'Civillized people'.

Sekian, fikir - fikirkan lah diri. Jangan salahkan 'cinta', walhal itu sebenarnya takat 'suka' je.

Moods

2011-02-19T21:26:00.001+08:00

I know it's annoying to see me being all hyped up and suddenly down-low. It's pathetic, I know.
Anyway,

Yo Mama is so FAT that she goes on the weighing scales and it says 'to be continued..'!
IN YOUR FACE! >: )

______________________________________________________________
Okay, that wasn't my intention to be posting about Yo mama joke up in my blog but I just couldn't help it! Yo Mama is TRENDING (again)! <3

So yeah, why do all the good stuffs being given to all the perky-wanna be-pretenders-lan c-cibai people a.k.a they don't deserve a single thang?

Why does it feel like I'm in a Barbie world this year but I'm not the Barbie 'cuz I am the lamp post?

Why am I letting myself being bullied?

Why am I not fighting back?

Why is it so hard to get close to You? To my lovely old folks? To my brothers and sisters out there. Why is it so hard for us to be close and love each other instead of hating each other 24/7?

I have so many questions but no answers. Silence is the next best thing to bliss. Let's just close our eyes and pray, hope for a better day.

Reach Out

2011-01-31T19:50:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to dig Biology, but I think Biology is not into me. I've been woo-ing for two years but still haven't change the relationship from "Just Dating" to "Seriously in Love". I just don't know what to do now but I really want to be a doctor who works in the E.R. Hope this dream of mine turns into reality, Amin.

_______________________________________________________________

I wanted to post something today on my blog, it's about Darr's advice but I just don't feel like making jokes in here. Hmm, I've been doing my homeworks these past few days but I have not revise. Great rite? Anyway, I would like to confess that :

I am a pure Bastard, atleast I am real.
Really had to get that out of my chest. I really wish I'm a genius and full of patience.

Holiday LAH!

2011-01-28T18:39:00.002+08:00

Happy Holiday Peeps!

Don't be depressed and never forget to study!

Oh yeah, HOMEWORKS! Don't forget to finish 'em.

____________________________________________________________________

I'm So Fly 'cuz I'm Awesome like that!

Invertension 1 is near ; Bring it all on or NOTHING!

#Confession

2011-01-15T17:12:00.001+08:00

I feel like crying because I feel so messed up.

Expression

2011-01-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

When you're not satisfied and you want to express it to others, somehow you'll meet a point blank and you couldn't utter a single word to explain how you feel.
I've found the remedy to this problem. To avoid point blank, you use this line. "I feel ______ because _________". I realise, by doing this, I can say a lot of things without pausing and make others understand how I feel instead of saying, "Nevermind, you don't understand me."

Why am I posting this? No idea. LOL! Gila nooooooob :)
Aaaaaa, fatin razif noob sial =.=

That's all for today. No point of posting. I just lost my idea :O
By the way, my friend Leon..he has a principle in life. The principle is ; Follow Rachel! :D

Trying To

2011-01-08T19:25:00.000+08:00

I am trying my best to accept everything changing at once. If you expect me to be happy and optimist within a blink of an eye, then I guess you must expect me to fake myself like Barbie. I cannot change myself into someone new and adapt to the situation suddenly, I know that by the age of 17, I must learn to be professional but I can't bear to relive my past again. I thought 2006 would stay 2006 but it's haunting me again and making me relive it. I know it is unfair for me to be depressed for a whole week and make myself look like I have no life, but Gosh, how could you relive a traumatized year?

I won't state "No one understands me" because there are people out there, feeling the same way in facing 2011 with depression. I do hope I can handle this and stop all this nonsense of me being upset for a long period of time. Amin.

Welcome Eleven

2011-01-01T01:51:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know Allah knows what I want and what I pray for how I want this year to be. I want it to be the best year for my senior year and to score straight A+ for my SPM. I hope I'm ready to face it and I really want to make my parents proud. I don't want to disappoint them like I did back in 2009. I wish to see them happy and to be hugged tightly by them. Dear Allah, do grant this. Amin!

My official 2011 didn't start out as nice as 2010 but I'm thankful as ever to see the beautiful fireworks set off by KLCC with my family. I don't want to sigh about this but be optimistic, I get to see the fireworks :)
Anyway, I wish everyone the best year and hope our friendship will last long.

My Stupidity

2010-12-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

Let's face it, everyone is stupid. We all are and we have to stop being so defensive about it.
I was reminiscing my childhood days and suddenly I remembered how stupid I was back then to be thinking there was a shark in every swimming pool. I love swimming but I hate it when I have to swim alone because I feared sharks might eat me alive! Okay, that was stupid of me but hey, we learn to face our fears and go beyond our limits at times.

Anyway, I woke up today feeling ever so edgy. Hm, I'm not even tinny wienie excited about my trip to meet my cousins. Not that I'm not excited to meet them, I just....I don't feel excited for the trip! Now, I'm feeling so stupid. Stupid for putting myself in a vulnerable position. Today is 22/12/2010 and there's nothing special for today. Nothing at all! Ugh, when can I ever get a grip of myself. *frowns*

I'm Fatin Razif, yer britnich!

Point blank

2010-12-02T13:40:00.002+08:00

Few days ago, I was thinking about my circle of friends, girls and boys. Sometimes, when I hear their stories and problems, I start to be thankful and learn to accept things as they are.

In this post, I would like to thank;
Yusuf and Ayesha Ellya. They both inspire me to do things that I used to think it was impossible to be done with. They've opened my heart and strengthen my belief and faith.

Atiqa and Darrell. Two immature yet matured people. Annoying yet lovable. Stupid yet SMARTASSES! They will always remind me to count my blessings. Yeah, I'm still counting by the way! *wink*

Atika Safira. The social-networker. The life of the party. You have taught me how to have fun baby! Although we barely spend time together, I still love you like my lil' bratty sister.

As for others that I may have not mentioned, I just want to say; Thank you all! Syaza,Ervin,Khadijah,Aisyah, Chay Fhei,Hazirah, LHX and etc. . I'm really blank rite now.

________________________________________________________________
Sometimes, life is about acceptance and improvising.

123!

2010-11-28T16:55:00.000+08:00

From the bottom of my heart, I DISLIKE GLEE A LOT!!

If you want to start a conversation with me, please avoid the topic GLEE.

One of the reason I dislike glee so much :

1) It is just....Fake heads wanna-be.

___________________________________________________________
I know, some may say 'Oh, pity this kid. What an emo-person'. Here's a reply for you brats happy-wanna-be; I have my freakin' own stand and I just hate watching stupid television shows about people dancing and singing and acting like bunch of Bimbos! That is just my point of view. However, if others love Glee, it means nothing to me. I'm not stopping anyone from watching Glee.

Anyway, I'm just stating this out. So, if you're talking about Glee with me, and I suddenly go berserk, do pardon me. I just dislike Glee so much! :)

Adios! :)

Bukan Salahku

2010-11-25T12:09:00.000+08:00

Okay, out of the blues...the topic is in Malay. Anyway, was chatting up with a friend of mine and suddenly it hit me; I know all the things I dislike and I can barely make a list of 10 for the things I like. Pessimist much? I admit, I'm never a nice person. Pardon me if I'm wrong, but to me, if you are the 'too nice' sort of person...especially in this modern world, people would take advantage of you! I know this because I have been in that situation before and newsflash, I won't be stuck in being a dumbass person.
Whatever....in my mind rite now is only about study study study. Next year SPM babes! I'm scoring for SURE! :)

__________________________________________________________________
I Am So Happy! I have my nerf guns now and I can shoot anything I want. Now I can practice my accuracy. Jyeah baby! :)
Somehow, confidence is the other key for everything beside Patience. My grandmother just taught me this and with confidence she said, I can achieve anything I want in this world and the after-world.

BMI, baby.

2010-11-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

ASIAN STANDARD

BMI of <18.5>

BMI of 18.5-23.0 = Normal

BMI of 23.0-28.0 = Overweight

BMI of 28.0-37.0= Obese

BMI of > 37.0 = Severely Obese

_________________________________________________________________
So, I'm 19.7, so...i'm like between 18.5 - 23.0. It's fairly normal but, sheesh! I've gained weight by 2.6kg.
I'm not saying I feel fat, its just that I feel plum and chubby and vulnerable for having suchh 'cute' stomache belly jelly!

Can I put my should do list in here? Whatever, I'm LISTING!

1) JOG BABY! (or swim atleast)

2) Stop eating acidic things.

3) Drink loads of mineral water.

4) Start studying.

5) Read novels and newspapers.

I don't think I'll follow this idiotic list. I was never a list-follower-woman. Mwahahaha! Meet me halfway baby. Anyway, I think if I ever get married...my husband will suffer by being with me ;)
Such a random confession that pops in my head few seconds ago.

Ugh, heartache.

2010-10-11T13:33:00.001+08:00

He gave me his whole heart, not even a piece reserved for another girl.. "A whole heart was just meant for you", the person said. I was drown in confusion and speechless until I couldn't utter a word in respond. He held my hand and said, "Keep it, it was meant for you. Its okay if there is no reply for now. As long as you know my love is only for you". I took a deep breath and in my mind, I never knew I could just stand there without melting away and go straight into the drain but, somewhere in my heart, I couldn't find the answer to why I was that way. Perhaps I'm scared to fall in love, to fall in love...with a gentleman.

_______________________________________________________________
Cliche, cliche life, cliche stories we often hear about anywhere. However, I had dinner with my parents few nights ago. We had a topic about my brother being in love and so emotional in relationship while I'm the polar opposite.

Fatin : Hakim, he's so emotional! Just look at him..I know last year he was in a relationship and now he's desperate to have someone else in replace.

Dad : Well, what can I do?

Fatin : Hm, I have no idea. I'm so not him.

Dad : Oh really? You don't get 'emotionally depressed' after being dumped?
Fatin : Oh, I just MOVE ON so fast. *chuckles*

In my heart, if Jo left me, a part of me will die. Certainly, a part of me will die eventhough theres a smile that lightens up my face but it will never lighten up this heart of mine. Only time can tell if you're truly meant for me, I'm not putting up any hopes.

Self-control

2010-10-05T17:03:00.000+08:00

Some say, at the age of 16, we have to think about and plan our future starting from that period. Me, on the other hand, I just couldn't think of what my future would be like. Will I be happy with my decision today or will I be unpleasant and curse upon myself? It's hard to say and it's harder to even think of what I really want for myself. My mother has pointed out what she thinks I could be in the near future; a Businesswoman or a Lawyer. If I am ever a Businesswoman, I don't know, I guess fate is never on my side to ever be so 'successful' in life. If I am ever a Lawyer, I'd be really upset if I ever lose a case. I'm a winner, and I want to win whatever I handle. That just described me as the "pusher" in daily-life even in my relationship with family or the loved ones (not my friends because I don't really have much to go around and push them).

Am I perfectionist? Perfectionist is just another word for "Chicken". I guess I am, sort of that. I want my future to be so perfect and in another word; Happiness. I am a mediocre and I have always thought and described myself that way. I have never achieved anything which makes me say "I'm Proud of myself!". No, nothing satisfies me and like I stated earlier, Fate is never on my side. This is going nowhere! Lets put this to an end. My thoughts will go on like "This circle never ends". Perhaps, I'm just too playful and I should stop at once....perhaps.

_______________________________________________________________
In each unpleasant events, Allah has better and bigger surprise for me just to make me happy. I know, Allah is always there for me.

Speaking of Allah, I dislike it most when someone doubts my decision in wearing 'tudung'.

Catch Me

2010-10-02T11:06:00.001+08:00

I had one of the weirdest conversation that was ever held between me and my parents. First of all, it was about Prom! Second, about....'Bromine'. Third, about my very own life.

Hmm, I couldn't be bothered to spill it in my blog. As if, anyone reads my blog anyway. Suddenly I have the urge to crap whatever in here since I'm through with my diary. Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling edgy. Maybe because I didn't get a "Good morning" at all today. I tried to cheer up myself by bullying my sister but I failed miserably.

________________________________________________________________
Somehow, out of nowhere..I smiled at a baby yesterday and out of my expectation, the cute baby threw back a big smile at me. How lovely a world could be when you see the little ones smile and laugh all day :)

Heh, I smirked!

2010-10-01T20:37:00.001+08:00

My sister....she made such a fuss this afternoon. I was lying on my bed, wanting to sleep for awhile but suddenly she just burst into my room and nudged my right knee. I jerked away because I thought she will be showing her drawing or something but before I could say anything, she said out loud this very 'awkward' line which is "Kakak, see, see! Zika ada boobyyyy!" *with only one ping pong ball stuck in her shirt as a booby, so its a retarded booby set, I may say*
I was shocked at first because she was saying it with her flirtatious face while touching her fake booby! Bless you child, God gave you a SISTER and not a bloody brother. After a few seconds of my what-the-eff-fish-reaction, I laughed out loud and asked her to show it to my mother. The laughing moment lasted for an hour! It was so cute! =D

___________________________________________________________________
This reminds me, I'm such a perverted sister for my Zika. AHAHAHA!

Breathe

2010-08-31T21:25:00.000+08:00

When we can always fall in,then we can always fall out :)

_________________________________________________________________

No one ever said things will be easy!
But hell yeah, I found my raya shoes! Despite how much I despise shopping for myself, I finally found my love at first sight Raya Shoes :)
I sounded gay, but hell yeah I'm happy with it! Mission Impossible is now accomplished!

Hoo, I have such small flat feet. I am no Cinderella! :|

Mhmm

2010-08-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I just don't understand why 'they' really want to understand me.

Frankly saying, I'm a misfit. Who cares what a misfit thinks anywhere, anytime?

I really want to go somewhere else. *sigh*
I have the most idiotic numbskull brother ever. And he makes me wish things I never expect I'd wish for. And yes, I fookin' wanna kill you!!! =B

Melancholic

2010-08-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

Memories will stay but what about the future we drew together as a glimpse of our future?
________________________________________________________

Apa kes nak emo tetiba? Tapi tetiba je dah tahu apa nak buat in the near future..
Antaranya ialah :

1- Jadi sukarelawan untuk membantu orang yang di timpa bencana. (insya'Allah kalau single takde jodoh atau memang sah takde kerja tapi niat tu masih ada).

2 - Pass exam piano Gred 7 (Yang kebiasaan tiada semangat).

3 - Practice painting.

4 - Nak kata kat Darrell de Orthodox "Now I can paint yo!"

5 - *secret, nak be with someone* :)

I still can't watch you go. Not yet or never will be prepared..

Soalan?

2010-08-05T17:57:00.000+08:00

Kenapa perlu sangat menindas orang yang lemah?

Ini adalah Haram di sisi agama Islam.

Jadi berhentilah buli - membuli kerana hidup kau tak panjang sangat pun, tak lama lagi tu mati lah.

Can't let go of what's infront of me,

2010-07-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

I know you won't leave me when I wake up, because this is real.

____________________________________________________________________
I vow to curse less, smile sincerely, mask my emotions, care more about others' feelings, try not to please everyone and be more of me but less negativity of me. And of course, not to be so stressful over studies :)

Alhamdulillah, God finally grant my wishes.

Good, Better, BEST!
Strive on until the Good is Better, until the Better is Best.

Stress

2010-07-14T15:45:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling it again, this edgy feeling. After a long time suppressing feelings into one big ball.....I feel like killing people who annoys me a lot. *shreds paper* Oh dear Allah, please kill this feeling and throw it out of me. I can't help but to be pissed off nearly all the time..I tend to act gay and high to cover myself up but the aching burning heart feels like leashing out and say "You're a ~~DUFUS~~!".

The mind that controls me, not the heart. I am one weak human.

The Best

2010-07-06T18:07:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, I still remember this one.

"I don't take bullshits."

When I said this last time, I really meant it. I don't take bullshits and that doesn't label me as a hard-going person nor an egoist.

Wow!

2010-06-23T00:43:00.000+08:00

It has been 10 years after I grew out of the kindergarten life. In the afternoon, I watched the 2000 Maryvale Good Sheperd concert. I was in there, performing the Cats on stage with my classmates and wearing checkered dresses singing songs about peace and harmony. It was way back then until my mom suddenly hugged me and said, "You're so grown up now...". Daww, I miss my kindergarten days :(
But of course, we cannot relive our pasts. Hm, so many things have changed now..my old kindergarten is now closed and I didn't get the chance to visit the school anymore. *sigh*

~~It has been years now, and I think you're way ahead of me. :)~~

Heavy Heart

2010-06-17T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm going away from here for three days and just now, when my sister was playing with me and drawing.....she suddenly said, "Zika ikut kakak ye esok? Ikut kakak ye?" Bam! Shoot! I felt like crying instantly and hug her. I still remember the days without her when she went to Macau with my parents. I was so empty and I ended up watching Code Geass for the rest of my life until she comes back.

I'm going to miss you Jo, Zika and my sweet bedroom :(
Gosh, somehow I don't feel like going for vacation suddenly. *sigh*

Will be posting soon ;(
Fatin

Morning Monstaz!

2010-06-16T10:51:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I'm a monster in the morning. Not as in physically saying I'm a monster with those puffy hair, squinty eyes and baggy clothes then walk like non-humanlike form. Well, maybe I am somewhat like that but I'm a real monster in the Morning.
Frankly, I just HATE people in the morning who :

1) Yell at me
2) Talks to me
3) Jerk Me
4) Asking for Help [if it is 'so' important and death would be the option if the person doesn't make it]

Hohoho, my brother was talking to me this very morning and I didn't respond while sipping my Milo. Then a fight was born! BAM!
I think my mother and brother are two people in my family who doesn't know my morning personality before shower. I really hate it when someone suddenly came to me and talk to me like theres no tomorrow. My brain is half functioning people...still warming up all parts of my body. Sheesh, what a douche brother.

Rite now, I swear I feel like killing him :)
I can't believe I'm being stuck with a moron who is related to me under the same roof. *sigh*

Dear Fatin,

2010-06-13T18:38:00.002+08:00

"I miss you."

-You missed out the gravity of the coming events-

Acceptance

2010-06-07T01:18:00.002+08:00

Joseph, you weren't born romantic as my previous is,
in addition you hid a lot of things from me.
But I must say, you amaze me a lot. You're not romantic but you're a keeper, you hid a lot of things from me but it thrills me a lot.
You may not be a lot of things, but you mean everything to me. I know we both like to keep it real and not make it a fairytale....but I just have to admit, this is like a fairytale for me to go through everyday. Maybe we will end soon, maybe not. Everything is up to God but I want to cherish every moment we're together.

I want to tell everyone about this and I don't mind making it public.
You have ever been so kind and loving.
Thank you Joseph for accepting me as I am :)

I feel your love for every second I am blessed to be living :)

June, Love

2010-06-01T22:23:00.003+08:00

Special note :
Syaza & Ervin, I'm sorry I whined a lot at school over add maths. I just didn't realize how thankful I am to score not so bad. It is my fault for not being alert and lack of practice. I know I could score better if I didn't make stupid mistakes. Yes Ervin, its my wake up call and I must accept it and do better next time. Thank you!!!

OH OH OH!

I AM SO HAPPY AND I WANT TO SPREAD THE HAPPINESS ALL AROUND MEHH! xD

Have a nice month!
FatinFatinFatin!

Breathe In

2010-05-31T22:19:00.001+08:00

"You Have No Idea How Disappointed I Am" - atleast that went through my head, again, another wake up call. Fatin, get out from your shell and see the world and be yourself again. Where is your adventure?

You're half the person I used to respect.
Fatin :)

Mercy

2010-05-16T18:59:00.003+08:00

"Again, I wish I have a Bleach for Human.
So that I could erase it from your heart, mind and especially your memory." - It comes back to me from time to time.

Again, everything comes back to me. I care too much of things and that's why I've been cleaning the classroom nearly everyday before I go back home.
I also tend to care about Joseph too much until I feel like shredding him to pieces and bury him alive!!! Jose, jose, jose....I'm sorry for being this way, I'm just mean as always. I wonder how you could ever stand with my guts. I also wonder how you changed me from a total ice - queen into another person I've never thought I'll ever be. :)

Shweeettt macaroni!!!

The man I love, Joseph and so long and goodbye, C.M, I'm over you. :)

Bam Bam!

2010-05-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

I was reading Ain Syahira's latest post in her blog. I was rather touched when I read it.
While I was reading her essay, suddenly it hit me and this one feeling occurred.
So far in my life, I have no such thing called "Bad Tragedies". I've never been through it. In her post, she stated about her grandmother leaving her away for eternity but to me, death is nothing but compulsory. When my great grandmother died, I felt nothing but sorry. When my grand aunt and grand uncle passed away due to an accident that burned up their bodies just so to save their children.....I felt nothing again but sorry for the family.

I Feel Nothing towards Life. Frankly speaking, I am well blessed with a lot of things in life. Somehow I fear that my life will turn around the wheel and my life will be the total opposite. Only Allah knows how my life will turn up to be or my life will be put to an end anytime soon.
However, I thank Allah that my life is not that bad and that I have never felt anything that effects me dreadfully or the feeling of losing someone for eternity.

Alhamdulillah, my life is in a good shape and though I am not blessed with such a genius mind but I am blessed with a balanced life. :)

Peaceful Today

2010-05-10T21:26:00.002+08:00

What A Day!

Eventhough it felt slow, but I feel GREAT!

Somehow after school time, sitting near the school's back-gate with C.M, Khadijah and C.F felt awesome! Just chatting and switching topic every 0.5 seconds (?).
It feels like heaven in Earth whenever my sister hug and kisses me then says she loves me a lot!

I feel like a turtle, slow yet peaceful!

OH JYEAH! I'm so not ready for my mid year exam! Like my good cousin said, "Why not you just flunk your form 4 like your dad asked me to and just score in form 5 and SPM so that people around you would be 'Oh WOW FATIN! YOU SCORED?!?!!??!!!!!!' and you'll feel great!"

HAAA! I'll think about doing that, well, DREAM ON FATIN!
Oh I miss the way c.m calls me :)

Hak Bercinta

2010-05-04T21:22:00.003+08:00

Ketika 'go through' blogs dan terbaca post di blog Syaza, teringat pula guru Sejarah ku dan gelagat budak - budak kelas 4 Azam dan hero -nya (Tharviin ; bintang utama).

Pada suatu hari, Cikgu sedang bercerita mengenai Nabi kita : Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.
Dia berkata yang kami semua tidak patut bercinta ketika ini. Dia menanyakan pada kita semua mengenai cara hidup kita semua.

Cikgu : Kamu tak layak nak bercinta pun! Zaman dulu, mereka cinta akan akhlak mulia tapi zaman sekarang cinta itu buta! Awak tak dapat cari duit sendiri pun lagi!

Murid : *haaaahaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaa*

Cikgu : Dah lah awak tak buat duit, lepas tu siapa yang basuhkan baju kamu?

Tharviin : WASHING - MACHINE!

Murid : MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Cikgu : Okay, siapa yang gosok baju kamu?

Tharviin : IRON - man!

Murid : LOL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Cikgu : *panass - panass*
_________________________________________________

Kalau manusia sekalian masih tak faham jugak....tanyalah diri kamu..siapa yang basuh baju sebenarnya. Kamu gosok gunakan tangan atau machine yang tolong basuhkan? Kes Ironman gosok baju tu lain cerita ye! Haha x)
Walaupun tak suka sangat kat Kelas Azam sebab semua orang lepas tangan....tapi ada juga yang best di kelas yang serba serbi sederhana ini :)

Triggers Me

2010-05-04T20:39:00.002+08:00

I hate it, I confess that I hate it so much when I start to think deeply over anything that I could think of. Whenever I start to think, a lot of things comes into mind and I just scare the hell out of people. Perhaps me acting as a bimbo is a better off human in reality. I now realize how much I scare people by giving out my conclusions. Then yes Syaza, I am such an observer freak. I realize it now, how much I tend to care how mankind behave in this world and how amazing it is to see 10 alternatives of reactions towards one substant. I just hate it when I am deadly serious because I'll discover truths that I never want to know about. This mind kills me. I wish I was artsy like my mother and a visualizer like my father. I am average at nearly everything until it drowns me like Lucy Beck in Form 4 Literature. I am Physically Insignificant. I am so average that it makes me feel as if I'm not special at all.

But, there is a use of being average. Alhamdulillah, no such thing as great pressures exist in my life. No such thing as, "Fatin, you're the best", because I now realize that, I effect nearly most people in my life and eventhough I'm not that important but once I've gone missing..you'll realize it soon enough. Assalamualaikum. :)

Cold As You

2010-04-29T22:44:00.003+08:00

For a whole month of depression, I've finally shed a river of tears and flood my room with tissues.
The side effects were ; red puffy-eyes, migraine, lonely time, no mood and finding most people "annoying".

Finally, I am one emotional dweeb again for the day. Finally, I'm tired.
Jane' people :)

Watashi...

2010-04-27T19:11:00.002+08:00

"Sketching out the broken pieces one by one. You gave
me the gift of knowing you and seperation."

knowing you, was a gift :)
Fatin Razif.

Kahwin, oh Kahwin

2010-04-19T19:57:00.002+08:00

Kebelakangan ni, sejak diri ku di gelar 'anak dara si Razif & Lina'.......tak habis dengan kisah "kahwin".
Hmph, kalau takat puji yang tidak ku sangka dan tidak ingin di puji pun, tu tak mengapa lagi tapi bila pada akhir ayat puji memuji tu, mesti ada ayat kahwin. Misalnya,
"Aduhai Razif, anak hang dah besak besak betuiii! Lawa benar haaa, tinggi pulaa tu. Teringat betui masa dia kecik anak cina tapi sekarang dah besak leh kahwin dah" -Nenek saudara.

"Amoi kecik dah besar! Eh Razif, kau baik jaga anak kau ni..mesti ramai boypren boypren. Dah leh kahwin pulak tuh!" - Kawan ayah.

-DAN SETERUSNYA YANG TIDAK INGIN DI TAYANG DI BLOG-

Ya benar, aku telah cecah 'puberty' dan aset kau kau tahu semua tu pun aku ada. Hmm, tapi perlu ke nak cakap pasal kahwin? Kalau masa besar aku tak kahwin macam mana...mesti orang berkata, "Sayang benar anak hang tu Razif. Dah tua besar tak kahwin lagi"
Paiseh, pening kepala mendengar. *muka sedih*

Haaa, kisah pasal kahwin ni pun terjadi petang tadi. Masa Uncle Tajuddin, Mama dan aku sedang belek - belek Sample tekstur langsir....masa itu jugalah benda kahwin ni muncul. Mama ku dah siap pilih langsir untuk bilik - bilik yang lain tapi aku masih terhegeh - hegeh nak mana satu untuk bilik aku yang baru. Hmmmm, lepas itu kena perli..
"Fatin ni...susah benar ye nak pilih. Tak pasal - pasal nak kahwin pun susah nanti. Lepas tu mak yang kahwin lagi kowt sebab asyik pilihkan untuk Fatin."

Hish! Perlu sangat ke. *geleng kepala* Mama pun apa beza, gelak je kerja.
Paiseh, jangan la cakap pasal kahwin dah. *tutup telinga* Tak mahu dengarrrrr! Tidak tidak!

Pathetic Idiot

2010-04-18T18:43:00.004+08:00

I could list out a lot of idiot things about people in my life!

First of all, my parents never ever listen to me. Well pay your own buttock pain. Not my fault, bewarned. I may be young and to you, you may think I'm immature but God gave me a gift. FACE IT!

Second, giving out advice but yet suck his/her own ass in life.

Third, people spoiling others and blames me about it. Thanks for the 'credit'.

Fourth, giving out sucking instruction and expect us to do effing WELL using our immature mindset, thank you.

Fifth, expecting respects from others but yet the person doesn't respect a single human on planet Earth.

Sixth, if anyone noticed....stop talking about my house is fcking near with the fcking school. Shut up idiots.

Seventh, I keep on saying I can't while I can. Plain stupid.

Eighth, nosey people, please mind your own bloody problem.

Ninth, calling others stupid but yet you're the one who is stupid, moron.

Tenth, if you know nothing about anything/everything/something...then please could you just shut up?

What do you expect? Me? Crying out loud? Well eff you people, I won't.
Haven't you heard, that we are all just a human being? Imperfection is the famous word and not Perfection.

I Am

2010-04-17T17:30:00.002+08:00

It is so funny to imagine myself in the Future.

I confess, I am not an easy-going lady. I came, I saw, I conquer!
Hence, if theres a guy in a my life, you better get ready for a roller-coaster ride.

ANYWAY, C.M, Ervin and I from a once upon a beautiful boring Day in class, we were just sitting until....C.M went high and start imagining how I'd be in the future when I'm about to give birth.

C.M : For sure Fatin would curse at me if we're ever married and when she wants to give birth.

Fatin : Oh yes! THATS FOR SURE! I will say, 'Tak nampak ke I sakit ni? FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'm Carrying your baby stupid!'

Ervin : *speechless and just watch how two morons go high*

C.M : No....you akan curse "F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK!"

*For your information, if you say the word F*ck many times and very fast...it will sound like a chicken clucking*

Fatin & Ervin : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________________________________
So yes, I am a cold-person. But whatever, I still like that day where C.M made his joke about me eventhough how insulting it was.

Expectations

2010-04-13T18:15:00.002+08:00

Questions, Questions.
Life moves on and some of us do move on but what about others who feels this way?

Feeling unsatisfied towards someone and hurting them back as a revenge. Is it worth, may I ask?

Disliking someone's act and just talk bad about them to everyone. Did it bring you any good?

Lying to everyone and pretend as if you're someone else. Do you feel good now?

Pretencious, liar, fake? Even Barbie do me good. If, and only if, life was that easy, I wouldn't have met you. Must we bury our feelings and take things for granted? Must we sabotage people and feel as if we're the best out of people?

Must we be these all in order to feel great about ourselves eventhough we know how disgusting all of our actions are? Must we hate people that God created the same as we are with different purpose in life?

Questions, Questions.
Everything goes into my mind. As I know all these answers, I just want to know if others do as well. Perhaps, oneself is confused about why others act in certain way that we dislike. But, do any of you know 'Why'? Think, do think. We all are gifted with brains and a mind power to think.

Ours

2010-04-09T23:57:00.002+08:00

The softness in his eyes makes my heart quiver and stall. I wish I could love you for ever...

In our private universe we are bright stars circling the fiery brilliance of a sun that is our blinding and eternal love.

Latte :)

Chemistry Experiment?

2010-04-02T16:51:00.002+08:00

Wow! I so envy C.M's birthday :(

He gets to celebrate his birthday in a CHEMISTRY LAB!

And gets to do EXPLOSIVE EXPERIMENT!

We all get to play Bunsen Burners and Magnesium ribbons!

And paling tak puas hati ni.....orang nyanyikan dia!

Cehhh, happy birthday sweetheart!!!!! :)

I feel happy for you damn it but yet envy you still.
May Allah protect you for always, love.

Special Post!

2010-04-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happy Sweet Sixteennnnnnnnnth Birthday C.M!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday!!!! Be happy always and may today be a total blast for you :)
Hoping for you that may everything goes well.Hence makes you feel happy and feel blessed especially on this day! *smiles widely*
Smile always my love, count your blessings.
I'm always here (:

Apa lah dah merepek merapu, anyway sayangku, Have A Great Day (:

Loads of Love,
Fatin Latte :)

Fine!

2010-03-31T22:26:00.002+08:00

What a bad ass day for today.
Lets start out from morning shall we?

Woke up a bit late this morning because I was too tired. Rushed here and there but found out that my brother would be sending me off to school instead of my mother. So I said, "Oh Fine!" and went on with my day. As soon as I got out of my brother's car, I saw the same black cat I saw during B.M Pmr Exam! Wahhh, from whoever...it meant Bad Luck Cat. Oh fine, oh fine I said and went on with my day again.

My school day started with a fun DAY, thanks to Puan Kamisah. But then.....jeng jeng jengggggg......Biology arrived and came the teacher where I err....kind of scared of? (won't be mentioning who exactly) When she teaches, three of my "Unself-centered" bitches made noise and I couldn't focus on what my teacher was trying to say exactly and its about BIOLOGY MAN! I don't have tuition! Please please please, be QUIET!

As my day carries on, headache suddenly came crashing down and hits me! Bad bad bad headache and made me feel edgy. Towards the end of school day, I had to attend two meetings. Danggggg, I nearly skipped my lunch time. *sigh* And err, I had to stay at Ayesha's house. Thennnnnnnnnnnnnn, I fell asleep for few minutes just now and yet I'm still exhausted.

Etc. etc. etc..........my Koperasi teacher won't let me quit the team, C.M pisses me off up until now, and I feel sick. Paiseh kan?

P/S: Pilu/Sedih. hanya Dia mengerti.
Nadzirah Fatin.

No one knew

2010-03-18T19:54:00.005+08:00

This is what it is like when you're just close to a person and you can do absolute nothing about it.
Simply stupid, idiotic........lets put it to an end, everyone feels this way with atleast someone sometimes.

Over and Out,
Nadzirah Fatin :)

I Know!

2010-03-12T15:08:00.002+08:00

You know that I know it pretty well, you're just another person who hides under the mask.
You're just another person who thinks everything will just be the same and no one will notice a thing about you. But you know that I know...........you're wearing a mask.

since you love to lie a lot, what do you know about how does it feels being lied to?
But I'll make you feel, how does it feels to be ignored forever.

So long,
Nadzirah Fatin

Mengeluh

2010-03-11T16:05:00.004+08:00

Stres dan sedih yang di rasai pada bulan ini. Aduh, geram rasanya. Dah lah cuti ni ada homeworks banyak je :(

Hmm, baru teringat la balik, apabila sering gaduh tu, memang ada je pada suatu masa rasa macam.."Dah stop, benci gila ni". Alaaa, masa dulu - dulu selalu je gaduh dengan abang tapi sekarang dengan siapa je lagi?

Sambung cerita, perasaan itu kembali...rasa macam nak tinggalkan everything and tak mahu layan. Rasa nak dakapan seseorang je then tikam belakang dia. Tapi bukan la tikam, cuma tepuk belakang dia la! (Takkan mahu bunuh pula orang)
Hari ni pun, bergaduh dengan seseorang...rasa nak tembak pun ada, rasa macam nak kelar pun ada tapi yang paling best, rasa nak tanam dia hidup - hidup atas perbuatan dia. Walaubagaimanapun, akhir sekali tetiba sudah okay la...takkan nak lepaskan perangai kebudak - budakan aku ini yang suka gaduh tapi esok hari tetiba okay? Haha! Tapi ye, memang saya ini macam budak kecik, suka di manjakan sebab tiada sangat yang nak manjakan budak ni dah *hukhuk* Hahaha!!! Melebih pulak kan? Dah besar panjang nak menggedik lebih!!!

Apa - apa pun, konklusi kat sini.....saya memang waras tapi bersifat kebudak - budakan. Kalau saya merajuk memang merajuk yang sebenar, kalau jealous itu terus nak bunuh rasanya dan apabila saya gembira....itulah detik - detik di mana saya akan 'show off' gigi saya :)

Saya jenis individual, kejam, pentingkan diri apabila masa - masa tertentu, suka diri saya seperti bagaimana telah di tentukan ilahi, realistik namun suka bersifat kebudak - budakan, suka timbulkan emosi yang sebaliknya, kelihatan bagaikan orang 'snob', bimbo pada waktu yang tidak sepatutnya berlaku, benci pada perkara yang tidak benar dan akhir sekali, saya memang suka berkata - kata dan melawan. Saya sememangnya degil serta ego tapi itu kriteria Gemini kan? Ceh! Hahaha!!!! Saya pun remaja juga, tipulah kalau anda tidak degil dalam beberapa aspek. :P

Sekian, saya suka awan~
Nadzirah Fatin :)

I Go Berserk

2010-03-07T13:53:00.002+08:00

Aduh, kebelakangan ni flow of emotions memang tak tentu pasal. Apatah lagi esok dah start ujian satu yang memang tidak di ingini 'to go through it just yet'. Dah lah, kebelakangan ni 'Aries' buat aku marah je kerja. Balik2 buat bodoh tak pun sikap persistant mereka tu, memang naik darah aku sebenarnya. Bukan tu je, bab sombong - menyombong buat aku bingung sesekali. Yang lain lagi asyik mengulangi soalan yang sama pada ku dan pada pendapat ku, adakah jawapan ku tidak 'store' langsung kat 'hard disc' mereka itu? Bagaikan aku buat projek B.M Bahan terkumpul je dulu....punya la taip penat - penat sampai habis...lepas tu...Kena buat lagi sebab apa? TAK SAVE.

Argh, bingung aku di buatnya. Tolong la, buat lawak pun bagaikan lawak yang takat buat aku senyum je. Kebelakangan ni pun aku jarang gelak f.y.i lah! Start dari tahun lepas sebenarnya aku jarang gelak ketawa bagaikan nak pecah gegendang telinga korang dan paling terakhir aku sebegitu 'jolly' pun ketika umur 14 tahun sahaja.

Apakah aku selalu 'emo' di sebabkan aku rasa diri ku lebih baik 'solo' atau di sebabkan aku rasa 'unaccepted'? Atau yang lain tak bukan, aku cepat bengang sebenarnya apabila orang 'bimbo' pada aku sewaktu aku serius!

Dah lah, aku tak terkata sekarang. Kini aku ingin membaca buku tetapi di sebabkan Aries dan adik ku membuat aku begitu 'bengang'.....sekarang satu information pun takkan masuk dan berkekalan di dalam mindaku yang tidak sebegitu genius. Haiseh, diam ah korang semua! Kengkadang rasa semua je sama.

I Feel....

2010-03-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

I feel as if I just need to be alone at times because I get easily annoyed these days. I'm sorry to all if I ever shown this type of face ">_>" *the whatever sort of face*
Honestly, I don't know what to talk about. I face this moment every year! However, it is very weird that one can see through me as if I'm transparent. I don't know what to say, I just feel like being alone :(

At times, I feel rejected in the group of friends. Well, frankly most of the times 'yeah'. I don't feel charming like I used to feel and I don't mix around with people that well these days. Even if I do mix, I'd mix with the senior girls better and not with my classmates. Yet again, I must say I feel rejected as if I'm just the wall here and because of I'm such an 'old' one now.
Is it because I'm a no fun now and not even popular? I assume, and so this familiar feeling comes around again which is, I just can't wait to get out of this school and just be me. :)

Look if I care,
Fatin *wink wink*

Zap Away!

2010-02-22T14:22:00.000+08:00

'Today' has been totally nice towards me. *cehh*
It is such a great day and a wonderful day for me! First of all, it's an *ahem cough scratch* day for c.m and I. Didn't mean to just announce it to every one but yes, I'm just too excited today. *sheesh*
So yeah, my posts lately have been a bit quite dull and emo because I feel that way. That explains for everything. Oh yeah, I have a total new fave website and here is one of my favourite post of joke!

Situation : There were two friends arguing with each other and so here how it went,

A : Do you wanna piece of ME?

B : I can kick your nipples off!!!! *angry face*

A : Do you wanna cuddle?

B : *blank*

A : DO YOU?!?!?!

B : *confused and speechless*

A : DO YOU WANNA CUDDLE!!!!!???

______________________________________________________
Conclusion : I had a great day, be jealous :)

Reasons

2010-02-11T21:28:00.002+08:00

Some say I always give out pathetic 'reasons'. Always make up 'reasons'.
Okay fine, malas nak argue. I MAKE REASONS LA END OF STORY.

Anyway, people were busy with Valentines quotes...so when I was in the toilet with Khadijah, Atiqah and Syaza, suddenly a science love quote came out. So here is how it goes :

"When I see you, my mitochondria works harder and makes my heart beats faster than it should be!"

That is so geeky man!!!!! HAHA!!

End of Story,
Fatin!

Perlu?

2010-02-08T21:22:00.003+08:00

Perlu ke kau nak ungkit isu mengenai diri aku?

Perlu ke kau nak bergaduh/berdebat dengan aku hampir setiap hari?

Perlu ke kau berfikiran negatif mengenai diri ku ini?

Ia lah, kau semuanya sempurna dan bukannya aku yang hina.
Kau lah segalanya yang orang impikan dan aku segala keburukan yang di abaikan.
Sampai kini aku melepaskan geram di blog, JADI SEMUA ORANG BACA LAH!

Form 4 BOSAN dan STRES! FULL STOP!

Dan Apabila....

2010-02-02T21:12:00.003+08:00

AKU STRESS!!!!!!! Hahaha! Apa aku buat selalunya la kan?
Aku agak - agak la, korang apabila mahu menangani stress...korang buat apa ya?

Tidur? Belasah orang? Mengutuk? On the phone? Mushy? Make out? Bodek? Menggedik?

Okay, sebenarnya kisah apa aku nak fikir apa...tapi ni style aku nak lepas stress :

Yang pasti...BUKAN TIDUR! Hmph!
Bila stress, banyak benda terjadi! Tengok je lah check list :

1) Homework (SIAP)
2) Toilet Cleaning (FUH BERSIH)
3) Katil Every Morning (NICELY DONE)
4) Laundry (AH PASTI!)
5) On The Phone (JANGAN HARAP)
6) Msn! (TAK LAYAN)
7) C.M! (Layan la juga)
8) Adik ? (Di Buli!)

Lapan benda ni lah, of course beres.... :P
Korang pulak? Bagaimana? Wahaha!!!
[P.S : Saje nak update, akibat 'stress' la konon]

ANYWAY!
Happy Sweet 16th Birthday Shout Out to Haziq Hussin, Haleeque and all you guys out there! Love ya'll (:

One Day,

2010-01-18T18:14:00.002+08:00

I felt really upset because, I'm a 'no good in sports' person.
I suck in running and my stamina ---> I can beat old grandmother! Even my grandmother could run a marathon.
Oh yes, my grandmother does travelling a lot. Hmph, so yes, I get really upset over this. Hence I ran to my besty and I told Atiqah about this and she replied ;

"It is okay if you're a no good in sports but have you ever thought about in other things you are good at?"

I replied, "I suck in art! Even Darrell said so." Then she went on, "Each person has their own specialty. If you weren't meant for sports, just look at your academic Fatin, be grateful of it. You don't really revise rite? But yet you score."

------->Honestly, I have to rethink this<-------

Okay, so whatever shits my future will bring me, I'll do my best.

-The End-

Renungilah Mata Ku

2010-01-13T18:35:00.002+08:00

Jadi mungkin senang benar,
kesunyian dan kesepian,
di dalam hidupmu itu...
sememangnya senang di penuhi
dengan warna - warni.

Jika aku sekadar pensel warna,
apakah engkau hanya sekadar kertas putih yang boleh di coret?
di mana pensel yang berwarna apa sahaja,
dapat mewarnai hidup mu itu...

Renungilah mata ku,
adakah kau akan rebah dan memerlui ku sahaja?
ratu segala ratu di hati,
namun...itu hanyalah gelaran
kata manis yang selalu memujuki aku..

Katakan lah aku tamak,
ingin sekali memonopoli kasihmu,
namun ini hanya lah nafsu,
walhal sebenarnya aku sememangnya..
mudah di ganti dalam hatimu.

P/S: Ini tiada kaitan dengan duniawi ku tetapi setelah membaca novel yang begitu mengasyikkan dan kisah dari kawan sejati ku yang telah menemani ku selama ini, jadi inilah inspirasi ku untuk memenuhi blog yang telah sekian lama dalam keadaan coma.

Tag Me Along

2010-01-02T02:28:00.002+08:00

I saw this in tika's blog, so I'll be posting it...

“The woman came out of a mans rib,
not from his feet to be walked on,
nor from his head to be superior,
but from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected,
and next to the heart to be loved.”

I love this one....I love my man (:

Goodnight Love,
Latte <3

Hold On For Awhile?

2010-01-01T18:06:00.002+08:00

Oh blue sands, will I ever get to be like you?

Sometimes, I don't get my parents. Well, to be honest, most of the times. I've always act like a Bimbo....I've always acted dumb just to see other smiles. But at times, this heart of mine feels like stopping because I've always...always felt alone over here.

You can call me stupid,
You can call me useless,
But haven't you noticed...
I carved the smile up on your face most of the time....

How much longer I have to wait,
Fatin Razif...

Weird Facts

2009-12-26T00:38:00.003+08:00

These few things that some won't even notice. Well, to those who bothers to know me more then read this, if not, don't even bother to.

Number 1 :
Honestly, I dislike talking to people. Especially in the morning, 15 minutes after waking up! And oh, while in the car, I prefer to be quiet.

Number 2 :
I smile often but it's rather fake. My genuine smile is when I smile showing my teeth.

Number 3 :
I am never really into things for long. My interests are just seasonal.

Number 4 :
I get irritated easily when people ask me something while they know I hate the something or ask me repeatedly knowing the answers to the question.

Number 5 :
Frankly, I love laughing and roll on the floor when I'm at home.

Number 6 :
I'm not really a forgiving person once someone is close to me.

Number 7 :
Err, I'm never comfortable when someone tries to be closer to me.

Number 8 :
When I'm angry, I stay quiet.

Sshh!
Latte <3

Trouble Maker

2009-12-22T23:07:00.003+08:00

It has always been this way. He caught himself in a big trouble, then I will always the place to seek comforts from. Every time no matter what, I'd be the one who cares while no other does. *sigh*
What a trouble maker you are, big brother. Serious shits you just caused. I wish this is all just a nightmare instead.

My mind is troubled,
Latte <3

Missing You

2009-12-21T00:51:00.002+08:00

I can't wait for your return. Ever since you went away my smile has faded.
I'm in a seriously no mood lately, so..Urghh, someone please make me laugh, please make me smile.

Solemn,
Latte <3

Your quote much

2009-12-18T19:15:00.002+08:00

I woke up today, from a bad dream. So called nightmare suddenly haunts me.
However, anger within me hasn't vanished just yet. Such stressful days going on these days. I'm so damn moody!! Urgh, casting myself away from this world.

Burdens wherever,
Latte <3

Absolute Gay Day

2009-12-17T23:40:00.003+08:00

Today was so fun with Tika! Thanks baby for cheering me up.
Haaa, however tonight is such an effing stupid night. Cheers off!
Ahh, bad mood all over again. I should honestly get away from computer. Argh, people are such nuisance at times! Ish, bengang sangat sekarang nih!

Chillaaxxxxx,
Latte <3

Timeless Love

2009-12-13T14:15:00.003+08:00

Today is such a lazy day! I usually wake up around 9a.m - 10a.m after subuh sleep. However, I woke up at 11a.m instead! Urgh! I just feel lazy, lazy, Lazy, LAZY! I even took my shower late today, around 12:30p.m! I know it's bad but I just feel damn lazy?
Oh yeah, I played musics on my phone on shuffle mode. Suddenly, C.M popped into my mind...and my phone plays the 'Timeless Love'. It was our first song that we found in common. Actually I asked him to listen to the song and he ended up liking it, so that has been our topic for forever back in Besties years? Continue, 1 minute later, C.M smsed me. Wow, what a coincidence. Haaaaa, okay, stop about C.M here. I'm so missing C.M already. :(

Speaking of coincidence, my birthdate is such a spook. *grins*
I was born on the 23rd May 1994. In digital ; 23 / 05 / 1994.
So here is the trick. Make all the number into one digit only. So here it goes!
23 / 05 / 1994 = 2 + 3 / 05 / 1 + 9 + 9 + 4
05 / 05 / 23 = 05 / 05 / 2 + 3

Total = 05 / 05 / 05
Beat my birthday stainkersssss! :P

Continue, other than that, I have been listening to McFly all over again. *sigh*
I'm just bored these days and reminds me, how hot these days has been. Gives me headache all the time. *shrugs*
That is all for now, Byeee~ x)

Let this be a timeless love,
Latte <3

Sweet sweet...SWEAT!!

2009-12-07T18:52:00.003+08:00

Just had this conversation few seconds ago with the dearest, Tika Safira of mine.

F : Guys are so funny!!!!

T : Hiiiiihaaaaaaaaaaaa!

F : Seriously!! They usually say, they'll wait for us to fall asleep first but eventually they fall asleep before us!

T : HAHAHA! What a joke!

F : Yeahhh *makes her confused face*

T : But it was sweet of him to say that!

F : Words are 'sweet', but actions are much more breath taking!

____________________________________________

Okay, to you guys out there whoever read this. I didn't mean to offend you guys, sorry. It's just amusing for me and my friend, Tika. Hoho~
So anyway, continue with Today's news ;

Today, Raja came to my house. We watched Ben10 and What Happens in Vegas! However, it drove us to boredom. *rolls her eyes* Then this dude dragged me to my piano and started playing "The Chopsticks" song that I taught him earlier before. Soon, he wanted to learn more and more. So, I decided to teach him "Happy Birthday" song and then moved on to easier song. Mwahaha! I ended up forcing him to read notes instead of memorizing. Honestly, its better off that way. Anyway, it looks like I can actually TEACH without screaming my head off? Amazing! Sorry to those whom I have been....well, saying 'Later, later, later' all the time. To be honest, teaching Raja was not my plan and I thought I have no patience in me. So now, I'm up to those who wants to learn...ahh, I'm thrilled.

(P.S : Atiqah and D, you guys are not the only ones that I have been telling this excuse.)

Jujie Capulet,
Latte <3

Reach Out for Me

2009-12-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

I smiled a little tonight...My teacher Lilian always...always make me smile big. She didn't intend to actually but I always either end up laughing like a dork or giggle a little. She's clumsy and blur but she's the best, caring at heart. Like the second mother for me, even though we have different belief. Anyway...I'm pretty blurry tonight, I keep on playing the wrong key-note and she was, "Fatinnnnn! You didn't practise your scales???" Not going to boast about this, but scales is pretty much where I ace. However tonight, it didn't go pretty well. So, I ended up telling her the truth.

Fatin : I did!!! It's just tonight, I feel blurry and not well. My shoulders aches a lot, I'm sorry teacher.

T. Lilian : Haaa! Why didn't you tell me earlier???

Fatin : Erm, because I want a piano class? *makes a smiling face*

T. Lilian : You naughty girl~! (Her favourite phrase for me)

____________________________________________________

To be honest, I'm so tired to complain about what I currently feel. Arguing, nagging and whatever those stuffs you get pretty annoyed hearing...I feel lazy to do so! I just don't want to go on and complain any longer. I mean, spit out what I feel to others. It's just tiring because some won't just hear. Frankly today, I'm feeling moody and down low. Hence, stop getting on my nerves people.

Jujie Capulet,
Latte <3

Take My Breath Away

2009-12-05T20:31:00.002+08:00

The thoughts of the future, sickens me. The thoughts of losing people whom I adore, sickens me even more! Now as my appetite has been a bit better, however it went down again. I'm going back to barely eating foods. Ugh, I hate this. Well, Tika said I'm skinny enough now and she asked me to start eating but it's not like I don't want to eat, I just don't have any appetite to go on munching foods. *sigh* Sucks!! :(

Jujie Capulet,
Latte <3

Live The Moment

2009-12-03T23:52:00.004+08:00

"Live the moment, and let the future unwrap itself."

If you say so then I shall, Mother Yesha. I will live the moment, I will (:
Oh yeah, I couldn't stop joking with Atiqah tonight, no idea why and I have no idea why I keep on asking for a dance with Tika Safira! Mwahaha!!! x)
Haaaa, I'll keep on singing Doushite all over again I guess? LETS DUET ATIQAH BABE!!!! <33

P/S : I don't feel like sleeping...Uwaaaagghhh!

Live The Moment,
Latte <3

My Heart

2009-12-03T20:14:00.003+08:00

I have a bad feeling tonight, my heart it beats faster than normal. It has been like this ever since I was a little child. This feeling gives me shivers, telling me something might just happen tonight. Something that I think...*sigh* I have no idea exactly what, but I just sense that something will pop up out of the blues.

Hope its nothing..
Latte <3